Going out to eat can be the most difficult time for people with food allergies. The most problematic places are Asian restaurants, fast food restaurants cooking with peanut oil, buffets and large sit down dinners such as those at conventions or weddings. First of all, not everyone is allergic to the same things. So institutions cannot eliminate everything allergy sufferers are allergic to. For example, I am allergic to mustard. Mustard is a common ingredient in many recipes adding flavor to many restaurant foods. When cooking at home it is easy to eliminate and hard to notice the difference in flavor. Identifying mustard as an ingredient is also difficult to determine when dining out. Most restaurant servers are versed in dairy and nut allergies but often do not have any knowledge of whether mustard was used in the food. Examples where mustard can be found are salad dressings and crust on fish and lamb. Eggs can also be difficult to identify. Most cakes, batter for fried food, binding for meatballs and crab cakes and washes on pastry are made with eggs. The flavor of the egg is masked by the other ingredients in the menu. Servers often do not know if eggs are in the offering. It is important if you suffer from food allergies to be very diligent about finding out what ingredients are in the food offered.
I believe many restaurants don't take food allergies seriously. Restaurant managers often do not know what is in the recipes that make up the food. Without knowledge of the ingredients servers cannot be trained. A well trained server can mean the difference between a good evening and a horrible one. Servers, even when educated, often do not understand the risks of food allergies. So they can be very cavalier when you ask them about food ingredients. They often believe it is just preference and you are making their jobs more difficult. I think you should insist that the server provides you with the ingredients. If you are not satisfied, leave the restaurant. It is not worth it.
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